I am going to try very, very hard not to have this post deteriorate into a mindless rant. I saw a specialist last Thursday and had a long term suspicion confirmed. I have a learning disability. I have been struggling against this challenge all my life. Needless to say, I am just a little bit peeved that my condition has taken so long to get identified, but overall I am happy that I can finally address this issue and move on. Now that I have increased my meds to an almost effective level, I am beginning to notice some strange things. The most prominent is anger.
I realize now, that there is an awful lot of incompetence in the medical field. I am pissed off over all of the bullies that caused me grief because I was so non-assertive and oversensitive. I am pissed that due to an out of control brain, maintaining a relationship was impossible. Holding a job for any length of time? Forget it. Save for retirement? Nope. All of this could have been prevented if someone had been doing their job. And the meds? They have been around for almost fifty years. I find now that all of this pent up frustration is now beginning to leak out in some very odd ways.
I stopped by Renegade Evolution’s site today and there was a link to an article posted by a well known anti-porn feminist. It seems that she and a cohort went in to “interview” some industry workers at an annual convention held in Los Vegas. Apparently, their idea of an interview was a barrage of loaded questions aimed at eliciting responses that they in turn could use to support their anti-porn agenda. In other words, they were being bullies. Boom! The anger welled up and I did something very uncharacteristic. I left a comment on the article page. Normally I would just swallow my indignation at let it eat away at me. In this case I decided not to. I am blaming this behavior on the meds! ;) You know what? It felt pretty good!
I do not plan on practicing “Woundology” (a phrase that was coined by Dr. Caroline Myss). The plan is to move on. Which is exactly what I intend to do.
Brighter days are ahead!